Right, first of all - here i am, the one, the only - the Immortal! (Okay - now im pushing things a bit!) Craig Mansfield, and im here for one reason and one reason only, i need to get things off of my chest once more, as my computer went boom two months ago (a hard drive fuck-up beyond all mortal comprehension or explanation - well, thats an exaguration - it just started crunching, and then stopped working, enough said) i have been left adrift with my own head, which is a bad idea - as when i try to vent directly to people, it usually, goes . . . badly, i never quite get my full point across, or they just dont want to hear what i have to say, or i just get angrier, because i never got the full matter off my chest, i simply started ranting without an ending, and end up with my blood boiling, a bad mood, and someone else sat there stupified, and thinking that this whole thing is thier fault.

But, putting that aside, there are some things i need to say, right here and now so i can lower my level of cognitive activity back down to a reasonable, normal level.

After several incidents at work, i have come to realise something thats been bugging me for a while now, a source of bitterness i need to tread backwards, find the stem and cut out before it drives me truely insane - i hate my school days, many people know this, i well and truely hate and despise my old school, and those who took it upon themselves to make my suffering thier enjoyment, i look back on them now with hate, anger and bitterness - and i keep carrying this torch that i cannot seem to let go of, and i should, it is ruining me, but every time that someone takes it upon themselves to try and piss me off, every single one of those major events suddenly floods forth, along with the adrenaline and the questions that go with.

Basically, two idiots at work (whom i am now going to the effort of removing from my myspace) are taking it upon themselves to annoy me, taking a few of my major pet peeves and annoying me with them as often as they can, i ask them to stop, they do not, i ask them to stop politely with explanation why, they dont stop, i keep asking them to stop, i get the supervisor involved, he argues thier case in the fact that its simple banter, they dont stop, it simply gets worse, then i ask the supervisor again, with the point that when thier doing this, neither i or they are working, he tells them again, but still argues the point that its banter, when i go downstairs for a drink of water, and simply say to someone down there in passing, less than a minute or so -

"whats up craig?"

"oh its blahblahblah upstairs, their getting to me little"

At that point the supervisor yells at me and tells me "Get the fuck back to work or i'll make sure you'll be the best fry cook in the land" to which my reply is "What?" and he simply starts flipping his wrists and singing the spongebob squarepants theme, that would usually pass as me spending a little to long talking, until he traverses his way upstairs, and then spends 45 minutes to AN HOUR talking to the two who set about annoying me repeatedly, which stops all three working, and has nothing to do with work at all, and they then set about planning football and poker nights, repeat this for about 3 weeks before this blog post, and you end up with supervisor favoritism.

At which point i try and argue my point to someone else that my job is itchy, uncomfortable, overly hot and just plain humilating, due to the fact i work with E-Glass on a daily basis, i come home itchy, i spend all day in a sweat, with very little means to cool down, and i try to get a point which came into my head across, i shouldn't be in there every day - thats simple fairness, and that everyone should be trained to use and repair the equiptment im stuck on, the supervisors reasoning is that im ALWAYS talking, all the time, i never work at all - and that no-one else in the place wants to do my job, the talking part, him and the other two have me beaten on hands down, thats utter bullshit right there and then, same with the claims of not working, and OF COURSE NO ONE WANTS MY JOB! I DONT EVEN WANT THE DAMN THING! but its a workplace, not a damned playground, which it has turned into - so i made a decision, one i thought would help, but it in fact - made things horribly worse.

I went over his head, i went to the manager, with all of this.

I explained all i could, he said he would fix what he could, after all, its a not a schoolyard, its a workplace, the moment i get back upstairs, and the moment i got there - the larger of the two guys who spent so long ripping me, cornered me and delivered this ultimatum.

"Right, if i get anything from this, a simple talk or a warning, you better fucking quit today, otherwise i will bounce your head around these walls"

At which point, it became dantre school, all over again - my sence of humour became morbid, which was my own downfall for that day, after i attempted to explain why, and failed - as he stormed off in a schoolboys huff i yelled out.

"Oh for fuck sake (Name removed) Let's just finish off this dantree school recap for me, i can pick a fight i can't win, someone beats the shit outta me, and we all get sent home, how about that?!"

Luckily he ignored me there, but other people heard me say it, and when i went to report the threat of violence, they followed me - thats all that stopped him from getting fired that day, unfortunatly - i found out i was culpable for whats happening now, after i brought all of it to light.

Then something happened that i didnt even expect, hell - i never even THOUGHT IT WAS POSSIBLE.

The next day i come back in, following masses of advice, i finish of my two weeks before my operation (more on that later) and keep my head down and ignore everyone, despite thier hints, snide remarks, and feeble attempts to annoy me, then the guy who threatened me was attempting to annoy me again, and i simply phased him, i ignored the fact he even existed, and i was expecting that to fail - because every time i ignored my bullies in dantree, they continued, not because i did or didnt react, because kids in daventry like that simply find it funny to HURT PEOPLE, because its not for me to react, they just like to see the fact, that they have caused pain (more on that later) but i watched the guy from the corners of my eyes while working, as i moved around i watched him turn from being a 23 year old warehouse employee, to an insecure 13 year old boy, who may be big, may be tough, and has had the most sex, had the biggest dick, but i saw what made him tick, and i honest to god could have broken him down into tears laughing as i watched him, his movements, and his behavior - hes not just doing it with other people, hes playing this game with himself.

He's stuck in an endless schoolyard "Who's penis is bigger?" competition.

But, this isn't the first time I've seen this , all over the place in fact - its become a large part of society today, ranging from the ages of 10 to 40, its all over the damn place, a large section of society devoted to the word "FUCK"

They go out to get "FUCKED" (booze, drugs of all types, usually in a massive combination)

Thier vocabulaty is "FUCKED" (words like "innit" "brup" and "sup bluud" are mixed in with massive amounts of curse words, to supposedly make up a sentence)

The only goal in life is to "FUCK" (usually, un-protected after finding someone along the exact same lines of these rules, romance is dead - its simply a question of two drinks and a pack of fags and the legs open-eth)

And, then - at the end of all of that, find someone to "FUCK" up (because, regardless of age, sex or class, it always seems funny in that world to hospitalise people for no good reason)

Yep, welcome boys and girls, toss your brains and minds out of the window, find a slut to fuck, and have a kid simply for the point of a counsil house, sit there and abuse government money, claim benefits illigally, start fights for no good reason, curse when theres no need to, waste your own lives and those of your kids, and then get them to do it to thier kids to, find anyone different, or dare i say it - intelligent, treat them like dirt despite the fact that thier better than you -

Welcome boys and girls, to Chav culture.

Because of this, I've never fitted into this country, or at least this part of the country, but its everywhere god-damnit, so im going back to uni, im teaching myself the skills that i want to produce what i want to do, im intelligent, introspective (if a little too much at times) and i want to tell stories, through writing, drawing, or filming - i have never wanted a fast car with neons, a sound system capable of causing cardiac arrest, a counsil flat with a slut who gives it up on the above mentioned circumstances, i wanted a good, happy life, enough to get by, and a means to give my imagination to others, which somehow makes me a "retarded piece of crap" (that quote was gained from a former school bully, throwing a can of fosters out of his car at me while driving down the street) and i hate them for it, i honest to god hope that thier kids open thier eyes and see what thier parents have done to themselves and strive to be better, otherwise - im getting the hell out of this country, because i simply wont be able to avoid being a target anymore, simply because i know i wont be able to hold my tounge (like ive done a good job of that so far)

So basically, im not taking part in this towns version of a country wide "Whos wang is bigger" competition, and im glad im getting out of this town now, which brings me onto a flash of light for this post.

My long awaited operation on my left knee is in two weeks time, which means my abnormal bone growth will be gone at last, and i will be in physical pain no longer, and then free from work, leaving me open to find a new job in my future home and suitable student accomodations.

Feel free to comment, i will be online via NHS internet for a short time after my op, until then - adios everyone!

Hey there. I'm sorry you are having such a bad time at work. It sounds....well awful! I really feel for you. No one deserves to be treated this way, especially you. Basically you have to remember that you are better than this crap. And good things are coming your way. This op is gonna make you pain free. And in September you are off to uni, to pursue something you love. So things are on the up. You aren't gonna have to do that job for much longer, then you will be free. I am always here if you need to talk to anyone. Big hugs to ya! xxxx

Ok I should have signed in to leave my comment, but I was just a lazy sod lol. Now u can see my wonderfully cute doggie. Keep smiling hun xxxx